Bullseye

It was my verse through seven years of infertility. It has been my verse through hard times of struggle, sadness, disappointment, and longing. It is my verse now in this season of anxiety and uncertainty and heartache. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true at last there is life and Joy” (Prov. 13:12 TLB).

Hope, on its own, implies delay; the word means to wait for, to be patient. Paul wrote, “Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait patiently for it” (Rom 8:24-25). But it’s more than waiting. It also means to expect. To borrow from Paul; who hopes for what she doesn’t think will ever happen? Hope is patient expectation rooted in trust. But there’s one more word connected to hope: pain. I’ll bet somebody is shaking their head. Waiting can be painful. Just ask me thirty-something years ago in that season of waiting for God to bless us with a baby. I trusted God, but my empty arms ached.

But this verse adds another layer: Hope deferred . . . This means hope dragged along. To the waiting, we add tension. One definition means “to draw the bow” and it reminded me of taking archery in high school. First I would seat the arrow in the bow and find my target. I fixed my sights on the bullseye, lifted the bow into firing position, and pulled the arrow back, stretching the bowstring taut. In the moment between setting the arrow and letting go, there was incredible tension in the string and in my arm. We had to wait until the instructor gave the firing order. If that order was delayed, my arm would start to ache and tremble. But I had to hold my position. If I dropped my bow, I might miss the call. If I lost my visual focus, I would lose the target. Hope deferred often causes pain and we may tremble in the waiting, but we do not lower our bow – or our shield of faith. We do not take our eyes off the target – the faithfulness of God.

This verse says we may even become heartsick – grieved and weary. We may feel like all we do is beg God to act. Believe me, I’m there. “But” – oh how I love the “buts” in the Bible – “when dreams come true at last there is life and Joy” You know what jumps out at me? “When” not “if.” When the arrow hits the target dead center. When God comes through. And I’m counting on God to come through. Beloved, take up your position, don’t drop your faith, and keep your eyes on the Lord. When. Not if.

When Your World Crashes

Murphy’s Law says, “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” Robert Frost wrote: “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” In the south, we say, “If the good Lord’s willin’ and the creek don’t rise!” You get it, we make plans – big and small – and life happens. In high school, I planned to go to college, get married, be a journalist, and live happily ever after. Five years later I never made it to college, was working at a dead-end job, and going through a divorce. Not exactly what I had in mind. Perhaps you intended to get a big project finished at work yesterday, but an urgent task got tossed on your desk.  Your computer crashes in the middle of a big paper. Your child makes a huge mistake, your parent has a fall, road construction sends you on a long detour.  Something seems to always derail our plans. Flat tires, sick kids, an unexpected phone call, or the boss’s priorities can turn our day upside down. Divorce, cancer, layoffs, rebellious kids, and death can turn our lives upside down.

Aren’t you glad God is not subject to the winds of change and the whims of other people? Job testified, “I know that you can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:1). God is the perfect planner because He is sovereign; that is, He has absolute authority to determine what will happen and He has absolute power to pull it off. He also has the advantage of seeing “the bigger picture.” Like putting a puzzle together, He sees each piece as it fits into its place and becomes part of the whole. In fact, He is the one who designed the picture in the first place. In hard seasons I find comfort in knowing that God is never taken by surprise when life takes a turn. He has already determined how this hard thing will fit into the complete picture of my life and the lives of those I love.

I’m learning some big lessons about trusting God right now.  I can’t go into details, but all is not right in my family and my heart is breaking.  I’ve been blindsided and can’t do anything about it.  But I am leaning on the truth that God was not caught off guard. He’s not sitting on His throne wringing His hands over the unexpected. Because nothing is unexpected to the One who rules over all. He’s got the whole world, and my little family, in His hands.

Joy!

One day the Lord will make it all right again. One day wickedness and evil will be cast away and righteousness and holiness will rule. One day God will pave “the Way of Holiness” where only the redeemed will walk (Is 35:8, 9). One day blind eyes will see, deaf ears will hear, the lame will leap, and the mute will shout for Joy” (v. 5-6). One day “sorrow and sighing will flee away and gladness and Joy will overtake [us]” (v. 10). One day all of God’s creation will “burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for Joy” (v. 2).

Did you notice all the Joy? It is the theme of this Psalm. It is the promise of God for eternity “Everlasting Joy will crown [our] heads” (v. 10). Not a “good days” kind of happiness. Not warm fuzzies because you got flowers at work. Not even the feeling you had on your wedding day or the birth of your children. Because we know that bad days will still happen. Those pretty flowers will wither away soon. Your spouse will disappoint you, even make you angry, and your kid will have an epic meltdown. The kind of Joy Isaiah spoke of doesn’t come from circumstances, your family’s behavior, or a day at the beach. This Joy is the theme of heaven.

Heavenly Joy sounds wonderful. But we’re not there yet. What do we do while we’re still here on earth? “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come . . . He will come to save you’” (v. 3-4). We strengthen and steady ourselves and encourage one another. We keep our focus on the Lord and remember His faithfulness, power, and love. We soak up His Word. We bring our concerns to Him in prayer. And we come together to lift one another up with the hope of His return.

I’ve had to take my own advice this week. Some important things are out of my hands and I’ve had to constantly cry out to God, lay my anxiety down, and mentally redirect my thoughts. And I’ve had good sisters in the faith praying and encouraging me. Yes, everlasting Joy is our promise. But hope is our strength as we wait. I’ll tell you what I’ve told myself all week: God. Will. Not. Fail. You. Be encouraged. Beloved. Your God will come.

Lean on God

My son called us early this morning fully dressed in his army uniform and hat with an anxious expression on his face. I remember that look well. I saw it on his first day of school. I saw it when he was a teenager and had to explain his actions to a police officer. I saw it when he faced things that were scary and unknown. That look of “I don’t know if I can do this.” He’s a grown man, but the boy was there on the screen, wiping away a tear from his eye. He starts the full run of basic combat training. It’s going to be hard. They will break him. The worst part, he said, is he won’t be allowed to call home for the first couple of weeks. Talking to his wife and daughter and mom has gotten him through. But we won’t have us for a while.

This will be the hardest thing he’s ever done, and he’s overwhelmed. Maybe you understand. You might be in the middle of the hardest thing you’ve ever faced right now and you don’t know how you will make it. I will tell you the same thing I told him. This is when you lean hard on God. When grief and sorrow overwhelm you, lean on God. When your body is racked with pain and fever, lean on God. When you walk out of your workplace with your possessions in a box, when the gas tank, the pantry, and your purse are empty, when the one who vowed to love you walks away, when you sit helplessly beside your loved one’s hospital bed . . . lean on God. When you head off to boot camp, lean on God. And when my son wipes away tears of anxiety 425 miles away, I’ve got to lean on God too.

What does that look like? A lot of prayer. A lot of time in the Word of God. And more prayer. And when the wave of anxiety or depression or anger or grief hits I pray more and read more and lean more. Because God is faithful. Every scenario I mentioned, I’ve lived through – or I should say God carried me through. He was with me in every one. He was my strength and my comfort. He was my hope and my peace. And now, I am entrusting my son into His hands. I reminded Troy of that before we signed off the call together. I’m reminding myself of that too. Beloved, whatever you face right now, lean hard on God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart . . .” (Prov. 3:5). You’re in His hands – and there’s no better place to be.

For the Brokenhearted

This one is going to be a little different. My heart is heavy for some people who are grieving today. I want so much to offer a word of comfort, but what do you say to someone who has lost their whole world? We all face sorrow. In the past two years, my brother and my father passed away. I’m sure you also understand the pain of death. I’ve never lost a child – I understand from some of you that it is a crushing kind of grief that never ever goes away.

So, what kind of hope is there for our broken hearts? All have are words – but they are words from the Source of life. They are soft pillows on which to rest your head. They are balm for the aching hole in your heart. They are promises you can lean on when you cannot stand a minute longer.

Like, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted” (Ps. 34:18). When my granddaughter hurts, I hurt. When she cries I run to her and scoop her up in my arms and hold her close. God does much the same for us when our hearts are broken. He draws near to His hurting child so that you can rest your weary head on His big chest and feel His breath ruffle your hair. You might even hear Him singing over you (Zep. 3:17).

When you can’t stop crying, remember that your tears are precious to the Lord. He catches every one and stores them in a bottle like a treasure (Ps 56:8). He promises that one day those tears will turn into songs of Joy (Ps 126:5). And mourning will turn into gladness (Jer. 31:13). The memories that sting your eyes now will bring you sweet delight.

Your heart feels like it’s in a thousand pieces. God will put them all back together and every piece will refract His glory in new and beautiful ways – like the sun shining through a stained-glass window. The world will be in awe of how God glistens through you.

And the sweetest promise of all is that you and I will one day be reunited with our loved ones, never to be apart again. My Mom, Dad, and brother. My dear friend’s husband. Another friend’s sister. Your coworker’s fiancé. My cousin’s son. The neighbor’s wife. Your little girl. They will squeal with delight when they see you at the gate. They will take you by the hand and give you the grand tour of heaven. And you’ll have coffee together every morning and ice cream every night. Forever and ever and ever.

Grief is long and hard, but it isn’t eternal. God will come near to you. He will quiet you with His love (Zeph 3:17). He will put your broken heart back together. He will give you back what you lost. Not just for a moment, but forever. My prayers are with you, Beloved.

God knows

Every word of the Bible is true and speaks with authority and purpose and wisdom. I’ve never read a verse and thought, “Meh, that’s not for me.” But often I will read something that has my name written all over it – like this morning.

“The Lord is a God who knows” (1 Samuel 2:3).

I’ve been sitting here staring at those words for several minutes and pondering all that things that God knows. And I am awestruck.

God knows that I am weary and overwhelmed. David said, “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for Joy and I will give thanks to Him in song” (Ps 28:7).

God knows when I am in trouble. “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters . . . He rescued me because He delighted in me” (Ps 18:16, 19).

God knows when I am struggling with temptation. “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out . . .” (1 Cor 10:13).

God knows when I’m in need. Jesus said, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matt 6:8).

God knows when I’m confused and don’t know what to do. He says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you” (Ps 32:8).

God knows when I am depressed and discouraged. The Psalmist said, “You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry” (Ps 10:17).

God knows when I have been treated unfairly. “But I call to God and the Lord saves me. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me” (Ps 55:16, 18).

God knows when I have sinned. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin” (Ps 51:1-2).

God knows, Beloved. And most important of all, God knows you. He hears you. He sees you. He understands you. He cares about you. He loves you. David said, “But I trust in You, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands” (Ps 31:14-15). You can trust Him too. He is your God. You are in His hands. They have your name written all over them (Is 49:16).

Scars

“I was afraid if you saw it, you would run away. I thought if you ever knew you wouldn’t want me anymore” Those are the words of the sweet heroine in a book I read years ago. The bride is crying to her groom because she has revealed an ugly scar on her back from a childhood of abuse. Her husband draws her closer and assures her that this slight imperfection does not diminish his love for her, but makes him want to protect her from further harm. The scene is endearing, but the girl’s words stuck with me. “If you ever knew . . .”

I think that so often when I receive your kind words about my writing and teaching. “If you ever knew . . .” If you knew the places I’ve been, the foolish, sinful things I’ve done, the stupid mistakes I’ve made – I’m not sure you’d ever trust me again. To say that God has done a work of grace in my life is a vast understatement. I understand David’s testimony of praise for the One who “redeems [my] life from the pit and crowns [me] with love and compassion” (Psalm 103:4). I have been in some deep, dark pits. But God . . .

Truth be told, we all have that thing (or several things) that we want to keep well hidden from the world. Maybe it is a physical issue, an emotional matter, a blot in our family history, or a regret from our past – whatever it may be, we believe it marks us as imperfect. Unlovable. Undesirable. So we cover it with make-up or long sleeves – we hide it behind a mask or a brave face. “If you ever knew . . .”

We may be able to hide it from others, but there is One who sees what we try so carefully to conceal. He knows us completely, warts, scars, hang-ups, and all. Nothing is concealed from His all-seeing eyes. That’s a scary thought. Jesus sees you – the real, raw, imperfect you. And yet . . . HIs heart is not repulsed. His eyes are not averted. His love is not diminished. Scars – whether physical, emotional, or spiritual – are nothing new to Him. Beloved, He who bears the scars of thorns and nails and spear understands yours and loves you still.

The Promise

There have been a lot of changes at the college where I work in the past few weeks. Our president of 30+ years retired and a new leader has stepped behind his desk. Several people also retired at the close of the year and a couple of people left unexpectedly. Old friends are going and new faces are coming. It’s all a bit unsettling.

Maybe that is why the Spirit directed me to the book of Joshua this morning. The Israelites are facing some major changes. After forty years of wandering in the wilderness of Judea, they are about to cross over the Jordan River and into the Promised Land.  And most concerning of all, their long-time leader Moses has died and a new leader stands in his place. No doubt Joshua was feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety. As the new chapter in the Hebrews’ story opens, the Lord speaks directly to him. He filled Joshua with confidence as He promised His presence.

“Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (v. 9). I’m coming with you Joshua, every step of the way. The God who rescued two million plus slaves, who parted seas and led you across the seabed on dry ground, who defeated mighty armies, and provided for your every need – I, Joshua, will be with you. That’s a promise he and all of Israel could depend on.

As I read this passage my first thought was: I’m not going anywhere. All these changes are happening around me. The principle is the same. Life is unpredictable. Your world, like mine, may be uncertain right now. It may be a diagnosis or a broken relationship or even an upheaval at your job. You may have lost someone you love and you’re not sure how to go on. It may even be positive changes – a baby is on the way or your kid may be heading to college – or like mine – to the military. The promise of God still stands firm: In all the changes of our lives, He will be with us – whether we stay or go – or someone else goes. He said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (v. 5). He will never go against His Word.  He is with us, always and everywhere. That’s a promise Beloved, you can stand on – and rest in.

God’s Got This

“Well, I didn’t see that coming.”

“Why this? Why now?”

“I never dreamed this would happen.”

“Not again! I thought this was all over.”

Ever said any of the above?  Sure you have. I have too – very recently in fact. We all experience it. The curve ball. The surprise. The “What is this?!”  The shocks of life are constant – and not always pleasant. But I have learned two things along the way: My heavenly Father is never caught off-guard, therefore I need not worry. He is never frantic over the epic ups and downs of my life. God never sits on His throne wringing His hands over the foolish situations I’ve put myself in – or that someone else has put me in. He’s never said, “I didn’t expect that! Now how am I going to work around the mess she’s in?”

How can I be so sure? Because His Word says that God knows “the end from the beginning” (Is 46:10). There is nothing coming, nothing I will do, nothing someone else will cause, and absolutely nothing that satan can attempt that God doesn’t already know. Every event, situation, circumstance, hardship, trial, and trouble has long been taken into consideration in His purpose and plan for my life. Do you know what that means? God figured out the resolution before I ever encountered the problem. This most recent bomb that dropped on me did so with His full knowledge and understanding. And here is something I am sure of to the marrow of my bones, if it was going to derail His plan for my life He would not have let it happen.

So what now? I honestly have no idea. But I have peace. Even in the unexpected, I know God is not worried. So why would I be? I don’t know what has hit your life and thrown you for a loop, but I know that God saw it coming before you did. The diagnosis. The failure. Your kid’s actions. Your spouse’s affair. The end of your career. The injury. The broken heart. Your loved one’s death. Whatever it is, He knew first and He’s got it figured out so that you are blessed and He is glorified. My constant mantra in times like these is: “I have rested that matter into the hands of my Father.” I offer it to you today. Say it as often as you need to. Then do it. He’s got this, Beloved, and He’s got you.

Hebrews: A Sacrifice of Praise

Several years ago I had a serious mental and emotional crash. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. I descended into a pit of depression and despair that was so deep I thought I would never see the sun again. Oh, I continued to go to church every Sunday and stood with the congregation during praise and worship. But I couldn’t sing. I wept. One day as I was driving, Crowder’s song, “Oh Praise Him” came on the radio. I felt a nudge in my spirit, “Sing child.” “I can’t” I replied, as tears began to burn my eyes. “Sing anyway.” So I choked out the first chorus, “Oh, praise Him. O praise Him. He is holy. He is holy.” I kept singing – or croaking – to be honest. But by the end of that song, I was singing clearly, “Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la” with tears streaming down my face. That was the day my healing began.

The author of Hebrews wrote, “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that confess His name” (Heb 13:15). I understand this verse. Sometimes praise is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Remember, this was written to Jewish believers in Christ who were facing extreme oppression and persecution for their faith. Many were turning away from Christ and abandoning the faith because it was just getting too hard. The author implored them to instead offer praise to God in their suffering, even if it came at a high cost.

I won’t deny that life is hard and pain is real. But God is still worthy of praise. He is still good. He is still sovereign. He is still awesome in power. He is still holy. And He is with us in our pain. David said, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted . . .” (Ps 34:18). If that’s you today, let me assure you that God is near. He has not abandoned you in your heartache. He has tenderly drawn you close. If you’re still you can feel His breath ruffling your hair. If you listen you can hear His heart beating. Then you may hear Him say, “Sing, child.” I know. It’s not easy. But sing anyway Beloved, even if all you can do is whisper through your tears. He’ll hear you. He’s not listening to your words; He’s listening to your heart.