Words

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David posed the question: “Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?” (Psalm 15:1) Part of the answer is “He who speaks the truth from his heart” (v.2). God demands truth – because He is truth. But truth is pretty hard to find these days. Thanks to social media, anybody can have a platform from which to espouse their brand of truth. But it is worth listening to? Does it agree with the source of truth?  Before you and I take their message to our hearts we need to ask one more question: what does their message say about their heart? Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). What comes from the lips says everything about a person’s heart – about who they really are. Are their words angry and venomous? Are they boastful, profane, and disrespectful? If their words are all about themselves then so are they.  Any “wisdom” they offer will only serve them and not you. Are their words kind, helpful, beautiful, encouraging, and uplifting? Do they speak the truth? A person’s words tell you the true condition of their heart. Especially in those unguarded moments of an emotional response.

Here’s why this matters – when you absorb someone’s words, you are, in a sense, taking on the condition of their heart.  Do you want a heart like the latest celebrity or athlete? Do you want your heart to resemble a politician’s? Perhaps it’s time to evaluate the voices you are listening to. Whose Twitter feed are you following? What music do you listen to? What t.v. Shows are you watching? There’s so much we can’t control, but where we have a choice, let’s choose to hear from good hearts full of truth because what goes in our ears touches and shapes our own hearts.

And by the way, the same thing applies to your children (and grandchildren). They are literal sponges – what are you allowing them to absorb? What is shaping their very impressionable hearts? Who are they becoming because of what they are hearing?  And most importantly, how are your words towards them and around them? What are you planting in their hearts?

Yes, you’ve heard this from me before, and you’ll hear it again because it is so important. Go back to what Jesus said –words reveal the condition of the heart. What are your words saying about you, Beloved?

It Came to Pass . . .

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“So it came to pass, at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made” (Genesis 8:6)

When my son was a baby, a friend gave me some great advice: “Remember, the Bible says, ‘It came to pass,’ not it came to stay.” You can bet I passed it on to my daughter-in-law when my granddaughter was born. Those long sleepless nights will eventually pass and she will sleep through the night. Teething and colic eventually pass. When I spend a couple of hours holding her while she sleeps I remember that these days will pass all too quickly and I’ll miss watching her peaceful face. It’s good parenting advice, but it’s also good life advice.

We will all face difficult days and seasons. But it’s helpful to remind ourselves that those days come and go – they are not forever. In those times I look back at Noah’s story and remember that after many, many days aboard the ark, it came to pass that the waters began to recede and Noah opened the window to let out the dove and let in the fresh air and sunshine. My troubles will pass and so will yours.

Another way to look at this is that the days of our lives come to pass not to stay and the opportunities before us and the people around us are also not permanent.  I have many regrets over things I knew the Lord wanted me to do that I thought I could get around to later. But later never came and the window closed. This past year has taught me, as it has so many of us, that the people we love cannot stay in our lives forever. I never dreamed my big brother would be in heaven before the year’s end. I know many friends for whom COVID has caused great grief. Jobs and business were shown to be temporary, and even the highest office in the nation passed from one hand to another this year.

So here is my advice: Don’t fret the sleepless nights of parenthood, nor the difficult days of life. It does not seem so in the middle of it all, but they will pass. And don’t waste the opportunities God gives you, nor time with the people you love. Life on earth comes to pass, not to stay. Make it count Beloved.

For The One Who Loves a Prodigal

I wrote this almost 5 years ago and just rediscovered it. God’s timing is impeccable. I need this message now more than I did then. Someone else may need it too. It’s for those of us who love a prodigal.

Acts 8:26-40 records the account of Philip and the Ethiopian (go ahead and read it-I’ll wait right here for you). Philip met an angel of the Lord who sent him on a mission. “Go south to the road – the desert road – that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” There Philip met an Ethiopian who served in the court of the queen of the Ethiopians. Scholars contend that he was a God-seeker who had not converted to full Judaism. He was returning from Jerusalem where he had gone to worship. He was riding in his chariot, reading from Isaiah – about the “sheep led to the slaughter,” and did not understand what he was reading  Enter Philip who clarified the Scriptures to the man, and from them, shared the good news about Jesus.  The Holy Spirit worked through The Word and Philip’s words and the man received Christ and immediately was baptized.

I want you to zero in on verse 29: “The Spirit told Philip, ‘Go to that chariot and stay near it.'” This phrase in Greek means “Go to that chariot and ‘stick with it.'” I thought about someone I love that I’ve been praying for many years and how I wonder if they will ever “get it.” The Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “Stick with them.” In our human nature, it is easy to become weary and want to just give up on difficult people. But if God has set them in your life, no matter how stubborn they are, He has called you to “stick with them.” That means more than tolerating them. That means: Keep praying. “The prayer of a righteous man [woman, parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, pastor] offered in faith . . . is powerful and effective” (James 5:15,16). Keep loving. “Love always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:7,8). Keep forgiving. “I tell you, [forgive] not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Then trust God to do the rest. “Salvation comes from the Lord” (Jonah 2:9). 

Years later my prodigal is still a prodigal, but I’m sticking with them because God is faithful. Beloved, whom has God called you to stick with?

When You Don’t Have Time for God

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At one time I enjoyed long stretches every day in the Word and prayer.  I could study for hours to my heart’s content. At one time I sat on my back porch swing and talked long about deep things with my Father.  But since I started grad school, and especially since a little girl moved into my home and into my heart, those times of solitude are hard to come by. I don’t have the luxury of camping out in the Word and prayer every evening like I once did. There is a ton of studying to do. There are nightly baths and rocking her to sleep. These are good interruptions – I would almost say, holy interruptions. But they leave little time – or energy – for much else. So I’m up before the sun every morning – even on the weekends – to try to snatch a little time with my Father before my day gets crazy again. I think, for the season I’m in, God’s okay with it. One day, I will have a diploma in hand. One day, she will be too big for baths and rocking. And God and I will get back into our groove. But for now, books and babies are my life. I am blessed.

I see you Mama with a crying baby on your hip.  I see you college student surrounded by books.  I see you single parent working two jobs.  I see you, caregiver, doing for your aging parent things they once did for you. You know that you’re “supposed” to read your Bible.  You know that you need to pray more than “Help me, Lord!” prayers. But there’s no time. And when there is time, you fall asleep.  Let me give you a word today – God knows your struggle and He’s okay with the snatches of prayer and a verse or two a day.  He is not judging you. He waits for you with patience and welcomes the moments you have. Beloved, it won’t always be this way. Seasons in life change.  Take a moment or two for your soul, and if that is hard to come by know that He quiets you with His love and sings over you as you sleep (Zephaniah 3:17). He is with you, even when you can’t be with Him.

Father God

My son just turned 25 years old . He still lives at home and is still kind of struggling to find his way. I love him with all my heart, but I am ready for him to gain some independence. It is every parent’s goal to raise children who become men and women who can manage their own lives with minimal assistance from mom and dad.

But God is not your typical parent. His goal is not to make us independent, but to draw us into deeper dependence on Him. I have read the Bible through many times, and I find no place where God says, “You’re too dependent on me – get out there and make your own way.” But I find many, many times where He chastised His people for thinking they can do their own thing their own way without His help. Why do you think Jesus tells us to pray for “daily bread”? And why do you think He said we must become like little children? A mature Christian isn’t one who has become so strong they only need God for the big stuff. A mature Christian is one who recognizes their desperate need for Him in every big – and little – thing.


Beloved of God, what are you struggling to manage on your own today? Take it to your Father and tell Him that you need His help. He delights in your dependence on and trust in Him. You are sure to bring a smile to His face and a blessings to your life.

In my Prison of Fear

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” Psalm 23:4

 

God forced me to face one of my biggest fears today. Against all my arguments, I attended the funeral of the 28 year old son of a dear friend. I wanted to go for the family’s sake. But I didn’t want to go because I knew I would have to stare my fear right in the face. And I think that was the point God was making, because He is determined to break me out of my prison. My prison of fear.

Fear has been my constant companion. For as long as I can recall, I have lived with fear. There are the usual ones: fear of rejection (which has happened), fear of failure (which has also happened), fear of the unknown, fear of heights and snakes and fire. Since the attacks on 9/11 the world has become a fearful place – enemies are all over the world, hiding in plain sight – why my next door neighbor could be plotting some heinous act.

But many of the fears that have imprisoned me are not so common, often irrational, and hard to break free of. They are fears that have affected relationships, have kept me from following my dreams, fears that keep me awake at night, and drag me into the pit of despair. I don’t know exactly when I became so fearful. As I was growing up, fear kept me from playing in the marching band or on a sports team or trying out for a part in the school play or the solo in the youth choir. Fear kept me from making friends with people I admired, and kept me bound in relationships that I should have walked away from. It caused emotional and physical health issues and straining even good, healthy relationships. Afraid of making (another) mistake, the running joke is “I don’t have to always be right, as long as I am never wrong.” It sounds funny, but the truth is, fear has often paralyzed me from making any decision at all. I am so afraid of looking foolish, I don’t even try. Fear has eaten away at any peace and joy in my life.

But it was when I became a Mom that fear kicked into overdrive and took control. After seven years of waiting and praying and hoping, through a difficult pregnancy and delivery; after my newborn son spent a week in the NICU at a medical university, by the time we came home I was determined to protect him at all costs. I became an expert “smother-mother.” I parented largely out of fear. Yes, and out of love too. Certainly I love my son with all my heart. But it is a fear-filled heart, and so often what began as caring and love morphed in actions motivated by fear. It was fear that caused me to pull him out of public school and start home-schooling. If was fear that questioned his friendships and relationships, fear that had to know where he was all the time and who he was with. And when the inevitable battles came as he got older, I pulled the reigns in even tighter. Out of fear. Mind you, like every teen/young adult he has given me reasons to be anxious, and times it was necessary and reasonable to pull those reigns a little tighter. In love, I want to keep him safe, but I often go into hyper-vigilant mode, and reasonable goes right out the window. I am just beginning to realize how much of my parenting has been influenced by fear.

God revealed something important – life changing – to me this morning through a passage that is, ironically, my son’s favorite Bible verse: 1 John 4:18 – “Perfect love casts out fear.” In those five words, God showed me what my life has been all about, and what I have been missing. Because I live in such fear, I cannot receive the love that God is offering to me. And because I can’t grab hold of His love, I live in fear. And because I I don’t claim His love for myself, I am trying to love others out of an anxious heart. The truth is, my fear-filled heart can’t really even love God-who is the fullness of all love. You see, the opposite of love isn’t hate, as we might think. It’s fear. The Word didn’t say “perfect love casts out hate,” because the root of hate is fear. Just as pride is the root of all sin, fear is the root of everything that is counter to love. Fear makes me judgmental. Fear keeps me from reaching out to others. Fear keeps me from accepting another’s hand reaching out to me. Fear keeps me isolated and lonely, even in a crowd. And as strange as it sounds, fear keeps at arm’s length the people I love the most. It’s a paradox really. I draw them so close I smother them, yet keep them just far enough away that they can’t hurt me; because in the end, that’s what my heart fears the most. Pain.

I don’t want to let fear rule my life anymore. I am praying that God will somehow break through all the fear that has built up around my heart and let me receive His love – His perfect love – so that I can love Him, myself, my family, and others out of a healthy heart. I am asking God to do for me what I can’t do for myself. I am praying that He will “give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me and remove from me this heart of [fear] and give me a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26, personalized). I am asking Him to set me free from my prison of fear so that I can experience fully His amazing love. I’m sure He is more than willing. You know, I think He’s been waiting for me all along.

God, I need you.  Lord Jesus, lead me out of this prison. Holy Spirit, be my counselor and comfort. Father, take this fear-filled heart of mine and give me a heart to receive Your love, and then enable me to give it away. Amen.