Bitter or Better?

In my younger days, I was a very negative person. I could always find something to complain about. When everyone else saw the rainbow, all I saw was the wet, muddy ground. My mom said as I child I worried like an old woman. Even after I became a Christian, negativity was my constant focus. When a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age I prayed for her and said, “What a waste of a beautiful life it will be if she dies this young.” And the Lord replied: “No more a waste than if you live for 100 years with a bitter, miserable heart.”

What makes us bitter? Life in a fallen world. There’s so much evil and sin and hurt and grief and loneliness and – well, I don’t have to tell you – you know. You’ve seen it and experienced it for yourself. The bigger question is what makes us better? What can turn a bitter, broken heart into a healed, whole heart? I can tell you it’s not anything the world can offer. It’s not the perfect spouse, the perfect kids, the perfect house or job or ministry – if they even existed. It’s one word. Faith.

In Psalms 106 the psalmist is relaying Israel’s history with God. On one hand, the Scripture says, “they sang His praises” but on the other “they grumbled in their tents” (vs. 12, 25). What made the difference? Faith. Listen: when “they believed His promises they sang His praise .” When “they did not believe His promise, they grumbled in their tent.” Believing God changes everything, including – especially – our hearts.

What does it mean to “believe God?” It’s more than intellectual assent. James said, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder” (Jas 2:19). Faith – believing God is knowledge combined with trust. The writer of Hebrews said that faith that pleases God “believes that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him” (Heb 11:6 – emphasis mine). Believing God, by definition means to trust, to be certain, and – get this – to be quiet. No more grumbling in the tent.

Believing God also means obeying Him. The psalmist noted that the grumblers “did not obey the Lord.” James said that faith and actions work together (2:18-26). That’s the difference between demons and God’s redeemed people. We believe in God – more than that – we believe God and we act on it. Sometimes that means marching around the city wall or stepping out into a raging river. Sometimes it’s singing His praises and sometimes it’s being quiet and still before Him. That’s where I’m putting my faith in this difficult season. Beloved, do you believe God?

Get Out of the Ruts

I am convinced that the biggest detriment to faithful, Joyful, holy living is between our ears.  Our thoughts can make or break us. And here’s what you and I need to grab hold of: our thoughts are just that – ours – we choose what we think about. And whatever we choose to dwell on makes an indelible impression on our hearts. I used to be a very negative person. But God showed me that was because my mind was filled with negative, critical, anxious, and discouraging thoughts. Just as wagon wheels always find their way into the ruts in the trail, my thoughts always found their way back into the ruts I had dug out in my mind. Friend, I’ve seen your posts. We’ve had many conversations. The honest truth is, you’re doing the same thing. And it’s time, for the health of your mind and your heart, to stop digging those ruts.

Paul gave us two prescriptions we would be wise to heed:

“Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Here’s the root of the issue: we’re not paying attention to what we’re thinking. The enemy is counting on that and the culture feeds it. Like putting our car on cruise control, we let our thoughts run wherever they will. And let’s be honest, our thought default rarely runs to the positive.  We need to reject thoughts that do not follow Paul’s other remedy: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). We must fill those negative ruts with – not just positive thoughts – but godly thoughts.

It takes discipline, it takes purpose, it takes intention, and it takes practice. But Beloved, nothing has the power to change your heart and your attitude like changing your thoughts. Here’s my challenge: Write these two verses on notecards and put them on your mirror, your fridge, in your workspace, and beside your bed as a continual reminder to take control of your thoughts. Then do it.

The Scripture says, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you” (Isaiah 26:3). It’s your choice, Beloved. Wherever your thoughts dwell, your heart goes. Maybe it’s time to take it out of the rut and onto a new, healthy path.

How to Battle Negative Thoughts

“The Thinker” by Auguste Rodin

I’ve had several conversations recently with ladies who are struggling with oppressive, negative, angry emotions. They are surprised when I tell them that the key is to learn to take control of their thoughts. We tend to focus on our feelings, but forget that those feelings are fed by our thoughts.  And our thoughts can be controlled. Negative thoughts, depressive thoughts, sinful thoughts, angry thoughts can and must be brought into submission. It’s a matter of paying attention to what’s running around in your head.

Psalm 77 was written by Asaph, one of the Temple priests during the Babylonian captivity. The situation seemed hopeless, and this is reflected in his Psalm. In verses 1-9, Asaph lamented God’s apparent rejection of His people. In verse 2 he says “my soul refused to be comforted.” Ever been there? I know I have. But look at verse 10, Asaph turns his mind and heart on a pivot, like a door on its hinges. “Then I thought, to this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High. I will remember the deeds of the Lord…I will meditate on all Your words” (vs. 10, 11, 12). Did you catch the keyword? Thought. In that moment of despair, Asaph took control of his thoughts and changed the focus of his heart and mind.  He deliberately remembered and meditated instead on the character and deeds of God. And when he opened that door, hope and peace flooded in.

We see the same change of mind in Lamentations 3, which starts out: “I am the man who has seen affliction,” (v.1) and continues for 20 verses saying “my soul is downcast within me” (v. 20).  And then verse 21 begins with that hinge word: “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope.” There’s the clue again “I call to mind.”  Jeremiah’s whole focus and attitude is transformed. A change in his focus changed everything.

Paul said, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Then we take the Philippians 4:8 prescription – I’ll let you look that up. It’s how we battle mental negativity. Beloved, the only sure way to find peace in seasons of struggle is to intentionally turn your thoughts to God, to wrap His Words around you like a comforter, and trust in His love, faithfulness, and peace to carry you through.

It’s Time to Trust God

I stood in the shower this morning, hands full of shampoo suds before I remembered – today was supposed to be a skip day. My hairdresser (who is also my sister-in-law) told me to skip the shampoo every other day to preserve my color (what – you thought this was natural?). But I get in the shower, half asleep, and go through the same routine I’ve followed since I was a kid. It’s so ingrained in me that I don’t even think about what I’m doing – I just operate on automatic pilot. I’d have to actually wake up and pay attention to do it differently. My morning shower routine is not the only habit I need to change. My thoughts – especially in difficult seasons – tend to follow a well-worn path that leads me into negativity, anxiety, and discouragement.
Over the past few months, a series of bombs – mostly financial – have gone off in our life and put us in a very hard place. My “default” line of thinking is to worry, to agonize and fret. As my thoughts roll into that familiar negative rut, doubts start to fill my mind about God’s faithfulness and love. He was so good to us last summer, will He help us again? Is He weary of our neediness? Have we reached the limit of His goodwill? Will He give up on us and leave us to figure it out on our own?
I know I’m not alone in this habit of negativity. You have shared your own struggles with me and I’ve tried to encourage you when you’ve said the same things.
Beloved, it’s time for you and me to say “Enough!” It’s time to wake up and shake off the habit of negativity and start a new habit of faith. As Paul said, it’s time to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). It’s time to remember God’s rock-solid faithfulness and never-failing love. It’s time to turn our minds to “what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8). It’s time to intentionally take control of our run-away thoughts and redirect them to trust in the goodness of our Heavenly Father. It’s time to believe that the God who parted the Sea and walked through the fire and shut the mouths of lions is still in business today. It’s time to expect God to act on behalf of His children.
I’m starting a new habit of positive faith today. I’m not going to give in to worry and fear any longer, Not while I know my God is still on the throne. It’s time. Who’s with me?