Hebrews: The Marriage Bed

Fair warning – this post is NOT politically or culturally correct. But it is biblically correct, so take your issues up with God.

This final chapter of Hebrews is a rapid-fire list of exhortations for the Hebrew church. The writer just states the facts without a lot of added commentary. Paul, James, and Peter did it too. As I’m studying this next passage, I think I figured out why. He is reminding them of something they already knew, something didn’t need explanation as much as it needed obedience. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb 13:4). In case you’re wondering – yeah, I’m gonna go there. But first . . .

Notice that the writer starts by saying, “Marriage should be honored . . .” By definition, that means marriage should be esteemed, regarded as precious, of great price, held especially dear – and that includes spouses.  The first thing God did after creating man and woman was to establish marriage. That puts it on par with the sun and the stars and human beings in importance.

But it’s also important because marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship to the Church (see Ephesians 5:23-33). When the marriage relationship is tainted–for any reason–it spoils that beautiful picture of divine and holy love. Yes, this largely condemns homosexual “marriage,” but when heterosexual marriages are invaded by divorce, unfaithfulness, distrust, dishonesty, abuse, bitterness, and selfishness they are no longer a reflection of Christ and the Church either. The world won’t take seriously the biblical basis of marriage until the church does. (And for the sake of accountability, I’ve been divorced too.)

The church that honors the Word of God will stand against homosexual “marriage” on biblical grounds, and rightly so. Homosexuality is a sin, but so is heterosexual adultery and pre-marital sex and lust in any form – including pornography – which the church is far more lenient about. (So is greed, gluttony, hatred, envy, unbelief, gossip, dishonesty, pride, and a whole host of issues to which the church turns a blind eye.)

I don’t like to offend anyone, but I won’t apologize for this post. It’s the truth from the Word of God. Truth offends those who are living under a lie — regardless of our national laws. But Jesus said when you know the truth you are set free (John 8:32). So, Beloved, stand firm in the truth about marriage – but first make sure your marriage is honoring truth.

Hebrews: A Costly Trade

Warning: this post is not culturally correct.

Sin is such an antiquated notion. Its meaning has changed from generation to generation. The present generation – if they consider sin at all – see it as causing offense by denying someone’s right to celebrate their personal truth. But previous generations rightly understood sin as an action that is offensive to God.

While sin isn’t limited to one specific action, sexual immorality seems to be the favorite. And we don’t have to ask why. But we do need to understand what it means. The Greek word is pornos – you know what English word that corresponds to. It comes out of a root word that means “to sell into slavery,” and that gives sexual immorality a whole new tone. Sexual immorality is any sexual act that deviates from the biblical presentation of the loving physical intimacy between a husband and wife.

The author of Hebrews tied that sin to Esau, son of Isaac and grandson of Abraham. He said, “See that no one is sexually immoral, or godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son” (Heb 12:16). Even though he was a twin, Esau made his entrance minutes ahead of his brother Jacob, making him the elder. By rights, he got the blessing of their father and a greater portion of the inheritance – called “the birthright.” But Esau came in from a hunting expedition one day, “famished.” He smelled the food his brother was cooking and sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew. He threw away who he was – the eldest son – and all he stood to gain – the birthright – to fill his belly momentarily. He didn’t have proper regard for the gift that was rightfully his. When it was time to bestow the blessing, Jacob cashed in. “Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears” (v. 17).

Sex between a husband and wife is a beautiful, God-honoring thing. But any other expression of sex is sexual immorality. It is a moment of pleasure that will cost you dearly. In a culture where anything goes, Beloved, don’t sell your blessing to satisfy your flesh. God has so much more for you than that.

Just Wait

What’s the hardest part of the Christian life? Dealing with the culture that has rejected God? Dealing with loved ones that have rejected God? Surrendering long-held sinful desires? Establishing holy habits of Bible study and prayer? Telling others about Jesus? Obedience? Yes to all of the above. But the one that is most challenging for me is waiting. You’ve experienced it too. We’re in good company. From Noah waiting in the Ark to Jospeh waiting in prison to Abraham waiting for the promised child, to David waiting to take his God-given throne, to Daniel in the lion’s den, waiting is a common struggle. It’s one of the biggest tests of our faith.

I have a friend who is dealing with a situation in her marriage, one she and I are praying over fiercely. God has told her to wait on Him to act. She’s trying. But she gets anxious and takes it on herself to try to turn him around. We recently talked about her latest attempt to force the change she so wants to see, and as expected, it only frustrated her husband and left her discouraged. “What was the last thing God said to you about it?” I asked. “Wait,” she said. “Did “Did He tell you He needed your help?” “No.” “Then wait. Just wait.”

David wrote a Psalm that is filled with good counsel as we wait. He said, “Do not fret,” “Trust in the Lord,” “do good,” Delight yourself in the Lord,” “Commit your way to Him,” “Be still,” “be patient,” “hope in the Lord,” “keep His way” (Psalm 37). Never once does he say, “worry about it,” “argue over it,” “take matters into your own hands,” “make it happen.”  

Here’s what I know from years of Bible study and especially from my own life. God never tells His child to wait for no reason. Waiting always means there’s something on the other end worth waiting for. That’s why we can have hope and trust in the waiting. Because we know that He is faithful. That’s how we can wait patiently.

I don’t know what you’re waiting for. But I know that God has never failed. Not in thousands of years of human history. Not in 61 years of my life. It may not happen as fast as you want, but if God tells you to hang on, Beloved, it will happen. Just “wait a little longer” (Rev 6:11).