I Have Had Enough

“Moses asked the Lord, ‘Why have You brought this trouble on Your servant? What have I done to displease You?’” Numbers 11:10

Have you ever felt like God is picking on you? Do you ever wonder if He has singled you out for suffering and heartache? I know I have, and through conversations with others, I am not the only one. Life in this world is hard. We’re in good company though, because even the great heroes of the Bible had those same thoughts and feelings, like Moses in our key passage.

Moses had the difficult task of leading some two million people out of Egyptian captivity, across seas and deserts and into the Promised Land. Two million frightened, tired, hungry, complaining people. There had been tremendous drama as he repeatedly confronted the stubborn Pharaoh, his own skeptical people, mighty armies that chased them, the lack of food and water, jealously among the group, disobedience and constant wandering in the desert. Moses was exhausted, overwhelmed and ready to give up. He bluntly told God, “If this is how You are going to treat me, put me to death right now” (Numbers 11:15). You can hear the same tone in the voice of the prophet Elijah “I have had enough Lord, take my life” (1 Kings 19:4). What had brought these great men of God to such a desperate state? Here’s a few things from their stories I believe parallel our lives in these seasons.

They were both physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted and overwhelmed. We’ve mentioned the burdens that had left Moses drained and depleted. Elijah was running for his life from the wicked queen Jezebel and He thought that he alone was carrying the name of the Lord. He complained to God “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected Your covenant, broken down Your altars, and put Your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:10). I know this one all too well. As a wife and mother, I carry the burdens and weights of those I love often to the overwhelming point of exhaustion. I load myself down, believing I am responsible for everything that concerns them. I am learning the hard way (is there any other way we learn?) that I am not equipped to carry them, they really don’t want me to carry them, and it leaves me drained and them frustrated. When the weight of responsibility becomes too much, we feel burdened, alone and ready to give up.

They both had taken their eyes off of the Lord. Moses could only see the angry, complaining, disobedient people that confronted him and the impossible task of feeding them all. He told God “Where can I get meat for all these people?” (Numbers 11:13). He had forgotten the power and the promises of God and how He had provided, defended and protected them thus far. God’s answer to Moses – “Is the Lord’s arm too short?” (Numb. 11:23). “Is anything too hard for the Lord” Gen. 18:14)? Though Elijah had heard God speak to and through him many times, all he heard now was the vindictive words of Jezebel swearing he would be dead by the next day. He was listening to his fears and forgot the words of His faithful God. The Lord spoke to him again, drowning out the queen’s threats with His own “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12). So often it is where our eyes are fixed and the words we choose to hear that bring us into these seasons of despair.

How do we go from the point of giving up to pressing on? God provides the answers. He instructed Moses to appoint seventy of Israel’s elders to help carry the load and relieve him of much of his burden. God reminded Elijah that he wasn’t the only one on the Lord’s side – “I have reserved seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal” (1 Kings 19:16). Now you and I may not have seven thousand or even seventy people who will step in and help, but are we asking those we do have around us? Can someone step in and shoulder some of the responsibility? I know when I have swallowed my pride and asked for help, I’ve never been turned down. God does not expect us to bear our burdens alone, he gives us fellow Christians to come along side of us. He gives us His Word, full of promises and hope and peace. He gives us His presence through the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus called “the Comforter” (John 14:16 KJV). He promises to take our burdens – “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7). When we are weighed down by burdens and worries, God invites us to lay them down at His feet.

Finally, we must keep our eyes on the Lord and our ears tuned to His voice. I’m talking to myself here because in the middle of the spiritual battle I am in right now, it is all too easy to let the circumstances and the voice of the enemy drag me into despair and hopelessness. Satan loves to tell us that God has abandoned us, that we will not survive our heartache, and that the turmoil we see now is all that will ever be. This is where I can either stand on my faith in God or let the enemy drive me to the point of desperation. I must keep asking myself “What does God say?” and go to His Word for truth and hope. I must remember Joseph’s words to his evil, scheming brothers: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” (Gen. 50:20). I must remind myself that Satan does not have the final say – God determines the outcome. And I must fix my eyes on Jesus least I drown in my sorrows like Peter when he looked away from the Lord and out at the raging sea. With my eyes fixed on Jesus I see solutions not problems, I see provision not want, I see strength not weakness, I see healing not pain, I see hope not despair, joy not sorrow, truth not lies, love not hate, peace not turmoil, life not death. With my eyes fixed on Jesus, I see – not an end, but eternity.

Holy, loving Father, the winds howl and the waves threaten to drag me under. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I turn my eyes to You, my hope and my comfort.  Speak peace into my weary soul, remind me that I am not alone and You are working on my behalf. Meet me in this place of darkness and lead me back into Your light. Amen.

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